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WIM DEKONING
INTRODUCTION TO COACHING

“All beauty comes from beautiful blood and a beautiful brain.”

Walt Whitman

We are now seeing so many people define their lives on their terms, start over, make a choice out of joy or purpose instead of expectations or fear.  

It’s inspiring but it’s hella hard and takes a lot of courage to make those bold choices.  It also requires us to change our thinking and our belief in ourselves.  I know that can seem nearly impossible sometimes because we are emotional beings who believe our world view is finite and we are the way we are.

In actuality, every time we learn something new, new synaptic connections are made in our brain. But similar to strength training your body, unless you keep building that muscle it will stay the same or get weaker.  In simpler terms, our current and old habits are learned synapses in our brain. They never go away completely.  When we form new habits, a new connection is created.  In order for us to stick to that new habit, we must keep strengthening it so one day it is stronger than our old habits.  This is a simple explanation of why people relapse.

 One of the favorite researchers and writers, Dr. Joe Dispenza, has been studying the human brain to figure out how we learn new behaviors and how our thoughts create chemical reactions that keep us addicted to thought patterns even when they make us unhappy. His background is rooted at the intersection of neuroscience, epigenetics, and quantum physics.

According to neuroscience, Dr. Dispenza says an hour of focus a day can double the number of connections in the brain. This can be taken as evidence that our interaction with our environments changes and grows our brains. The new information that we learn is stored in the neocortex, which grows in a process called neuroplasticity.

He proposes that if we think the same thoughts every day, “everything stays the same in the body.” But new thoughts that lead to new behaviors and experiences begin to change human biology, including the brain itself. Thus, says Dispenza, when you change, everything changes around you.”

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JON TYSON
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WHAT IS COACHING?

Life coaching has become quite popular and yet, I feel like most people aren’t quite sure what it really is and how it's effective.

I first came across coaching when I used a company stipend for some business coaching sessions. I had on and off experience with therapists in the past, but often felt that once I got to a point of understanding an issue I was dealing with, I wasn’t quite sure where to go from there.

At the time I started coaching, I was more burnt out, stressed and depressed than I had ever been, and really needed some clarity on what to do about my job.  I desperately wanted to quit but I was also open to finding out if there was another way to I coudl look at my situation that would make it more tolerable.

In the end, I did get clarity and resigned shortly after. But how we got there was unexpected and I took away so much more. 

During these sessions is where I first became aware of my buried need for creative expression and passion.  My coach turned me onto a book by Steven Pressfield called “Turning Pro.”  (I highly recommend it to anyone who may feel stuck in their work).  

The idea is that when we are afraid to embrace our true calling, we pursue a shadow calling instead.  And when we decide to turn pro, and pursue our dream, we must decide and recommit to that decision every day. “And the longer we cleave to our life, the farther we drift from our true purpose and the harder it becomes for us to rally the courage to get back.

It was then that I decided to commit to finding what a life lived on my terms, without fear, looked like.  I was changing, and so was my purpose. 

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BRECHT DENIL
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ALEXANDER ANT

HOW COACHING IS EFFECTIVE

Coaching helps shift and open up your perspective so you can begin to see solutions and new ways of being that you never considered possible for you.

Through a strong partnership and series of sessions, a coach will assist a client through the process of change by asking powerful questions, owrking with you on interactive exercises, making observations, keeping you accountable and providing a safe and non-judgemental space for you to explore what’s going on for you. 

Most people think coaches are there to give you advice.  However, coaching is entirely directed by you.  You have the wisdom and answers, and together we will get you to begin to broaden your perspective and to see that what you took as truth may not be; That there are other ways of thinking/being/doing. This is required to change your actions. If you do not shift your perspective, you will not shift your behavior.

Most people do not like being told what to do or when to do it. 

Coaching is effective because its backbone is autonomous motivation, which means you control the decision-making process. The coach provides resources and support as needed, but you are in charge. People who are autonomously motivated pursue actions that are of interest to them and they view the actions as important. 

HOW IT WORKS

At the beginning of coaching, we’ll set up an agreement where you will define the overall goal of the coaching partnership.

Where would you like to be at the end of our sessions? How would you like your life to be different?  What does life look like if you're at your max personal or professional potential?

We’ll also discuss how we’ll work together and how we’ll measure progress and success.

Moving forward, you will also set the focus for each session.  Sometimes we’ll set accountability homework in-between sessions if you think it’s helpful.

Coaching can take you into wild and unexpected places.  It’s part of why I love it. If you trust yourself, the process and our partnership, it is truly effective and powerful.

In the Fall of 2020, I decided to become a coach and completed my training in March 2021. I continue to deepen my education and practice in pursuit to become credentialed by the International Coach Federation.

In addition to coaching, business consulting and continuing my professional career in advertising, I am also developing creative projects (TV, Film, Events, Partnerships, Experiential/ Immersive Art) and providing creative services through Mad Fool.  

This allows me to integrate all the areas that bring me joy and truly create a life that works for me.  

I wish the same for you.